Ce’s words provide insight and relief on so many levels: practical advice based on brain research on how to do this thing called “therapeutic parenting;” emotional balm when life with my attachment challenged child goes on tilt; deep empathy and understanding because she’s walked in my shoes; refreshing honesty about her own struggles and failings; applause for a tiny step forward and encouragement to keep on going. I need these words, sometimes like I need air to breathe!
You have been a God-send for our family.
Debi Zacharia, Adoptive Mother
In one of our first sessions with Ce, she told us that before we could work on our trauma and attachment challenged child, we needed to work on me (mom). I believe I may have audibly gasped. Work on “me”? I’M fine. I’M not the problem. I was oozing righteous indignation. Then came D-Day, when our parenting skills were failing us, and my mind desperately grasped for Ce’s pearls of wisdom. With no loss of life, limb, sanity, or self-respect, we witnessed a profound moment of therapeutic parenting success; our epiphany. What we’ve learned from Ce is that it isn’t about us not being good parents, or the right parents, it is about how to be this traumatized child’s parent. Ce’s daily blogs have been invaluable lessons on how to effectively, lovingly engage a traumatized child when they’re melting inside, and her calming words have had a way of talking me down from my ledge – reminding me that “love matters”.
Kim Petersen, Adoptive Mother
Ce Eshelman’s daily blog is a therapeutic beacon to guide anyone who feels lost in their efforts to understand, support, and teach attachment challenged, special needs, and easily dysregulated children. Ce brings an empathic and hopeful voice to those caring for kids who have been impacted by trauma and the significant barriers stress has presented to their healthy brain development. As a professional and a parent, I have benefitted immeasurably from her wisdom.”
Brenda Vaccaro, Psy.D., Founder & Attachment Specialist, SPARK Center for Psychology, Sacramento, CA
Ce Eshelman is the real deal. She’s one of those rare gems who deeply cares about the people she serves. She is willing to freeze frame and blow up her mistakes for you to see so you can avoid the same pitfalls. She then points to the path of secure attachment. The book itself is a secure base you can return to again and again when things get difficult at home. Drowning with My Hair on Fire is just the medicine you need.
Jennifer Olden, LMFT, Certified EFT Therapist
Ce’s daily blog has been a lifesaver, particularly when days are most dreary and hopeless. Not only have her words of empathy proven to be priceless to our family, but I have often forwarded them on to others. Such a comfort to feel understood, with no judgment.
Patty O’Hair, Adoptive Mother
Foster and adoptive parents often face very daunting challenges not experienced by people raising their biological children; how much more so for those raising children with attachment challenges. Full of the painful honesty of raw truth and lessons learned the hard way – as well as grateful humor – Eshelman’s Drowning with My Hair on Fire is an anchor of solid support for these parents and a helpful reference for helping others to understand this rocky path. It is a generous and loving book. As Ce always reminds us, Love Matters.
David Hafter, LMFT, Author of Growing Balls: Personal Power for Young Men
Elaine Smith, Adoptive Mother
In a real sense “Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents” is a daily mediation of struggle, success, failure and getting up and trying again. If that sounds like too much to subject yourself to then don’t adopt a challenging child. And one more thing, shouldn’t we require prospective adoptive parents to read “Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents” rather than another ‘All they need is love’ manual?
Dave Ziegler, Ph.D., founder of Jasper Mountain Center and author of many books on raising children from difficult beginnings.
Wisdom For Adoptive Parents 